I don’t actually need you, but I need you

Dear Men,
I don’t actually need you anymore.  I can change a flat, unclog the toilet, and follow Ikea instructions like a pro.  I can even get pregnant without you (physically present).  Even though I can do all of these things, I still need you.  The older I get, the more I realize I just can’t do it alone.  I need your support, strength, stability, protection, leadership, love, and so many other things that no one else can provide.  Because I’ve learned how to do so much, I sometimes forget how much richer life would be with you in my life.  I’m sorry if you feel emasculated by my new found skills—that wasn’t my intention.  There are so many aspects of masculinity I need in my life that have nothing to do with fixing things, moving heavy objects, or putting things together.  We could be a great team.  So much of life requires two sets of hands, two brains, and two hearts.  I hope you will be my other half.

With love,
A lady

Some things never change

Dear Men,
Some things never change…or change very slowly.  When it comes to interacting with you, I still feel like my awkward 13 year old self.  Fifteen years later, and I still have no idea what I’m doing.  I don’t initiate because I’m scared.  I’m scared of embarrassing myself, I’m scared of rejection, I’m scared of public embarrassment and rejection, and I’m scared of the unavoidable awkwardness that comes after rejection.  Because I change so slowly on this front, I could really use your help and leadership.  I don’t want to lose you as a friend, but I don’t know how to take it to the next level.  This is your time to shine.  It would be great if you took the lead.  I can’t promise I’ll get over my fears anytime soon, but I can promise that you can help quell those fears.

With love,
A lady

To touch or not to touch

Dear Men,
I’m very much a physical touch person.  However, this doesn’t mean that I like to touch everybody.  What it means is that I am very sensitive to physical touch.  I desperately need and crave physical touch, but, for non-romantic touch, I only want it from people who are in my inner-circle.  It really says a lot about a person if I let them hug me.  That being said, I am even more sensitive about touch from men who are not established as “just friends.”  If you are purposefully touching me, I am going to assume that you are interested in me.  If you are, great.  But, take it slow and be clear (verbally) about your intentions.  Otherwise, I will be confused and frustrated.  Even a slight brush of the hand sends electricity through my body, which is why I tend to avoid touch from men if I am unsure how they feel about me (that would be most single straight men I know).  So, if you aren’t interested in me romantically, please don’t touch me, unless we are good enough friends for a side hug.  If we are friends and hug already, please don’t keep your arm around me or hug me for an extended period of time unless you are romantically interested and are planning on asking me out.  It helps me keep the (emotional) boundaries clear.

With love,
A lady

Sorry for freaking out

Dear Men,
I’m sorry for freaking out.  I don’t mean to be overbearing, desperate, controlling, or whatever word you are currently thinking about me.  Here’s the truth: I like you, and I’m insecure.  All my freakouts come down to those two factors.  My insecurities have nothing to do with you, and I’m sorry I take them out on you.  Please be patient with me.  I really am trying to be rational and logical, but sometimes my emotions and inner turmoil get the best of me.  I have a lot of “What if” questions which play over and over again in my mind.  It takes a lot of self control to overcome those questions and insecurities.  Some days I have the energy for that level of self control, and some days I don’t.  I really am sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of me not being whole yet.  It won’t last forever.

With love,
A lady

I don’t know you

Dear Men,
I don’t know most of you.  Please be considerate of this fact.  If I don’t know you, chances are I will not be giving you my number, getting into your car, or anything else like that.  Please take the time to get to know me a little bit before trying to make a move.  That way, I’ll know you are actually interested in who I am as a person.  I do have opinions on life, politics, art, literature, science, and many other things, because I do happen to have a brain that I enjoy using.  My brain and my heart are the best things about me.  If you try to find out why first, I promise I’ll be more likely to respond to your terrible pickup line.

With love,
A lady

It doesn’t take much

Dear Men,
One way to find out if a girl is right for you is if she appreciates your efforts.  Most girls are actually quite easy to please and appreciate the thought and effort.  I don’t need to go out to super fancy-schmancy restaurants all the time, but I would like to go out somewhere sometime.  Usually, all I need is for you to just hold me, to just listen for a little while, or to just be there.  It really is that simple.  I know women can be confusing—it’s not on purpose.  I’ll try to be better at communicating what I want and need, and I promise it, in all reality, isn’t much.  Just you.

With love,
A lady

I promise, they aren’t going anywhere

Dear men,
I’m perfectly aware of my breast size.  I do buy my own lingerie.  There is no need to remind me by staring at my chest.  I promise, my boobs aren’t going anywhere.  I know they are pretty fabulous to look at, and so I can’t honestly blame you for wanting to sneak a peek.  However, if that’s the only thing you are looking at, then you won’t be winning any points.  I do have a pair of eyes, you know, and I do appreciate eye contact.  Actually, I feel really connected to a man when he looks me in the eyes.  You’ll know when it happens when I blush.  Take it as a sign.  There are other great things about me besides my chest, and it would be nice if you took the time to find those things out.

With love,
A lady